Young Dads are Rewriting the Script on Fatherhood
Once upon a time, fatherhood was typified by provider‑centric roles: earn a paycheck, provide for the family, oversee from a distance. But today’s dads are rewriting that script. Over the last half‑century, paternal involvement in the life of the child has soared. Mid‑1960s fathers averaged between 16–25 minutes of active childcare daily; now it's nearly an hour—more than a threefold increase over the course of two generations.
Dad-Time is hands-on these days, too. The average daily hour, as noted above, is roughly split between “playing” and “physical care,” both broadly defined. And per one source, 97% of modern dads change diapers, compared to just 60% in 1982. I have to imagine the percentage was even lower in earlier times, although there is a distinct lack of longitudinal diaper data. But many dads are all-in today.
This is not to say that every young dad is doing it right and every older dad did not. In fact, I know many of both set for whom you could say the opposite. I’ve been fortunate to learn from and be nurtured and supported by many dads from the Silent Generation, Baby Boomers (including my own!), and Gen X in various stages of my life and career. But there is definitely something going on today.
What (and Who) is Driving the Shift?
There are several sociological and cultural shifts that have taken place over the past 40 years that help to explain this evolution in fatherhood. For starters, young people today including both Millennials and Gen Z are typically marrying later. Per data from the U.S. Census Bureau, in the 1960s, the average age of men at first marriage was about 22.5 and for women it was just over 20. Today, the average ages at first marriage for men and women, respectively, are just over 30 for men and about 28.5 for women. Marrying later in life (even by a few years) means that men are likely to be more financially stable and are certainly likely to be more mentally and psychologically stable, which perhaps makes them more attentive and caring fathers.
Parents are also having fewer children today than they were in previous generations. Although the lower birth rate has demographic and economic implications for society as a whole, it is possible that having fewer children in the household makes both parents, including fathers, more attentive to the ones they have.
There are other larger shifts at play, too. Women are much more prevalent in the workforce, of course, which means that dads are actually needed more on the homefront to help manage the flow and responsibilities of parenthood and to help manage all the various parental obligations. There are many more stay-at-home dads today than there were forty years ago, for sure, and that role is not as stigmatized as it once was. But working dads also need to be available to help out more with rides to and from school, soccer practice, and dance, etc., or to help juggle when the mom or other partner has commitments of their own. Is every dad perfect with this or as helpful as they could be? Of course not. But many are trying.
Apart from the tasks and obligations, however, there is a changing internal understanding of what it means to be a dad among many men. Per Pew Research, 57% of Millennial dads today view being a father as central to their identity. This percentage is nearly on par with the percentage of women who view being a mother as a core part of their identity. In a 2023 survey, 85% of fathers said being a dad was the most or one of the most important things about who they are as a person. This data suggests that fathers, as a whole, are viewing their responsibilities as parents in a co-equal way to mothers, resulting in a closer balance and true partnership in parenting (although it should be noted that woman, on average, still bear more active childrearing responsibilities than many, typically averaging 14 hours per week of active parenting versus the eight for fathers).
What Active Fatherhood Means for Society
The benefits of active dads who are a positive influence in their children’s life and the life of their families ripple outward. Children with present, engaged dads commonly score higher academically, display stronger emotional resilience, and enjoy healthier social development. And the active father-child relationships are good for dads too — dads who are active in the lives of their children report deeper bonds, stronger self‑worth, and richer purpose in their own lives.
As these changing norms solidify, it could and should lead to policy discussions about how to better support dads (and moms too, to be clear) in crucial stages of their children’s development. Per one data source, 75% of dads take less than one week of paternity leave upon the birth of their child. Only 27% of employers offer paid paternity leave, and many dads in the workplace feel pressure to not use it, lest they be judged by higher-ups and coworkers with more traditional, stereotypical views of the dad-as-producer image of fatherhood.
For now, though, we should raise a glass to the active dads. This includes the many good ones before us, the ones doing it now, and those just getting started out in their fatherhood journeys. I am in the middle stage of parenting active children, with kids who are 11, 9, and 6. Not yet adults, but no longer babies — my wife and I often feel that we are in the parenting sweet spot, and we are trying to soak up as much active family time with our kids as we can. Not that I do everything right, but being their dad (and trying to be a good husband to my wife) is the most important part of who I am, and I hope it always will be.
I was also very fortunate to grow up with an active, caring, and supportive dad from the Baby Boomer set, from whom I learned how to be a dad (and still do!). So Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there, including my own, and best wishes to all the active, hard-working, imperfect-but-trying dads out on this Fathers Day 2025.
Ben Sprague lives and works in Bangor, Maine as a Senior V.P./Commercial Lending Officer for Damariscotta-based First National Bank. He previously worked as an investment advisor and graduated from Harvard University in 2006. Ben can be reached at ben.sprague@thefirst.com or bsprague1@gmail.com.
Thanks for a great article